Positive discipline

Positive discipline begins with patience, love and caring. Anger, negativity and force will only result in confusion or fear. Parents have been faced with discipline issues and challenges for as long as it has existed. Learning to manage anger into more constructive choices is key. Punishment may seem like the way to put an end to inappropriate behavior, but in the long run it will not teach the child the social issues necessary for getting along in social situations.

Patience and understanding is vital in this teaching process. No matter how much you desire them to, a child will not learn the first time. Reinforcement, consistency and understanding your child’s attention span and mental development will aid in the process. Expecting your child to “know better” after only being taught a handful of times will only result in frustration with the both of you. Over reacting to a situation is never the answer. Keeping a lid on your anger in front of your child, but remaining firm in your resolve will, in most cases, result in a more cooperative child.

- “Because I said so,” when asked why something can’t or shouldn’t be done. This does not teach your child the difference between right and wrong.

- “In a minute,” then not doing so after a minute passes. By not following through you are setting a bad example for your child and confusing them with mixed signals.

- “You never . . .” or, “You always . . .” or, “Stop that!” will damage your child’s self esteem and, in the long run, deter their willingness to learn. It is not human nature to “never” or “always” do something, so offering more constructive tactics is a better choice.

Positive approaches to discipline and creating a positive atmosphere will generate self-discipline in your children. Praising your children for trying instead of putting them down for doing it wrong will cause your child to want to do it more. Criticizing or being sarcastic with your child will have a negative impact, as will isolating your child in a corner or time out chair. Negative actions breed negative results, it is that simple.

The same goes for hitting your child. There is nothing positive about this act, nor is it a necessary one. There are always alternatives to causing harm to your child through positive discipline. It boils down to the patience and caring principles mentioned earlier in this article. If things spin out of control where you feel the need for violence, follow the more positive route and take a breather. This is not easy to do in the heat of the moment, but you will be glad you did this. Sure, finding and alternative takes more time and effort than lashing out irrationally to your child, but isn’t your child worth that and much more?

When children grow feeling competent and valued based upon their parent’s behavior and actions, it is carried on through adolescence. Their ability to maintain self-control will certainly become a valuable counterpart of their teenage years both parent and child.